Ever feel like this?

I love this song, and it is exactly how I feel.


On the other hand, I can't help but think of the poem that hangs in my parents' bathroom. I am now starting to understand what it means.

BROKEN   DREAMS

As children bring
their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams
to God
Because He was my Friend.
But then instead
of leaving Him
in peace to work alone,
I hung around
and tried to help
With ways that 
that were my own.
At last I snatched them back
and cried,
"How can You be so slow?"
"My child," He said,
"What could I do?
You never did let go."
author unknown 

So what does it mean? Something I've struggled with my whole life, and I'm sure several others have as well. I recall a quote my family always uses to describe such people, "I can do it all by myself!"

Even though I want help, I need help, I refuse to let anyone help me. I want to do it all by myself even though I know it's futile. Why? I don't know. The answer I seek is staring me right in the face and I refuse to see it. There must be another way. Mustn't there? And so here I sit in limbo. Waiting for my problems to magically go away or solve themselves.

Not sure how to help myself, but refusing help from others. And it seems that even though a lot of people want to help me, they know I have to do it myself and so they step back.

I feel kind of isolated some days. Like I've driven away those who care, and others are simply "too busy" or really just "don't care." I don't want pity. I don't really want a quick fix. But I hate sitting in limbo.

I don't know what to do. I keep praying for help but the words "you already know what you must do" come to my mind. So, what must I do? Why can't I do it? I'm not entirely sure if what I feel I must do is the best thing to do. So I am scared. So scared I can't move. I just sit frozen in thought.

Contemplating every angle. Nothing looks like a "winning solution." So here I sit. Waiting for someone to tell me what to do, even though I am not listening to those who are already telling me what I should do.

Why am I so stubborn!?