Friday, December 19, 2008
teething tears
I am pretty sure that's what's going on. sometimes Grace just cries and cries until she falls asleep. we've tried orajel and tylenol and everything we can think of, but they don't help much. and she won't use the teething ring much, and only wants the green pacifiers sometimes. even chewing on a cold carrot worked once. I feel bad there isn't much I can do. our bishop said to press on her gums where it's red, but they look the same everywhere. I guess she got super sensitive gums like her mom. at least she's got her hands to chew on when it doesn't hurt so bad. she's at the stage where everything goes in her mouth. she loves her saucer now and would probably love a jumperoo. packing is coming along slowly. we're moving in with his family, and he said if I don't like it after a month I can go back to my family. still no job, but he'll get one soon. happy holidays everyone and keep in touch!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
just hanging out
does he make her look big, or does she make him look big? I can't decide. She thought it was weird sitting by Kermit.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
a time of joy and sorrow
I am so excited for Christmas to come so I can see my older siblings again! But I am sad that we will be moving a few days later, and stressed that we don't even know where yet. I want to cry and sing. I am a mix of emotions. My mom is very disappointed that I decided not to decorate this year. I admit, it won't be the same, but there's no sense putting them up if I am just going to pack them up the next day. I am so overwhelmed right now. I just want to cry because there is so much to do, and we might end up getting rid of a lot. I feel homeless, sure we could live with our families but it isn't the same. There's no privacy, and we have to follow their rules and do what they want. I never thought it would be so hard to move. I've finally got some real, good friends and I have to leave(though a lot have already moved away). It's eating me up, not knowing where we will be living a mere 27 days from now. That seems so short in terms of moving, yet so long in terms of holidays. we want to have a big going away party. We'll let people know when if we actually have the time to do it with all the craziness. I feel so helpless. Two months is a long time to have your faith and patience tested. I gave up on getting Grace on a schedule and things actually seem to be better in that area. She gives me hope, and smiles to let me know she loves me and everything will be ok. she is so smart, and silly. she knows just what to do to make me laugh. I should stop moping and count me blessings.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
bargains at a price
this is about how much I don't like black friday, if you are a big fan don't read this, you may find it offensive.
I don't like black friday and I think it is a huge waste. every year people get trampled, beat up, and mauled all for the coveted tickle me Elmo. why? I thought Christmas was supposed to be about giving and caring, not greed! I have a super religious brother that doesn't shop on sundays, and he told me he didn't want any of my tainted sunday bought gifts last year...what I should have replied was that I didn't want any of his stupid bargain black friday gifts. I don't understand why people go crazy just to save a couple of dollars. I don't know, maybe it's just me. I just don't think it's worth risking your life. this year a guy got trampled to death because he had to open the door, which the shoppers tried to rip off the wall. and for what? then after he was reported dead, the greedy shoppers refused to vacate the store because they wanted their stupid bargains so much. people are dumb. that's why I try to get all my shopping done before thanksgiving, because I don't want to risk my life to get someone a present that they probably don't want anyway.
Friday, November 28, 2008
survey
got this from my sister.
9 YEARS AGO…(1999)
1. How old were you? 13
2. Where did you go to school? Box Elder middle school or ACYI
3. Where did you work? baby sitting
4. Where did you hang out? Mostly at Julie's house
5. How many piercing/ tattoos did you have? one in each ear
6. What car did you drive? hotwheels
7. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? single
8. Biggest purchase you had made (not with your parents money)? clothes probably
9. Craziest thing you had done? not sure, nothing too crazy
10. Ever stayed the night (as a patient) in a hospital? Not since birth
11. Hardest thing you had ever done? ask a boy to dance
12. Who did you date? too young
13. What was your biggest fear? never having a boyfriend
14. Farthest place that you had ever traveled? colorado
4 YEARS AGO… (2004)
1. How old were you? 18
2. Where did you go to school? Box Elder high
3. Where did you work? nowhere
4. Where did you hang out? mostly with Julie
5. How many piercing/ tattoos did you have? One in each ear
6. What car did you drive? a family car; caddy, van, potiac, toyota
7. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? single/taken
8. Biggest purchase you had made? probably still clothes
9. Craziest thing you had done? got into the talent show
10. Ever stayed the night (as a patient) in a hospital? Still no
11. Hardest thing you had ever done? tried to figure out life
12. Who did you date? Tyson
13. What was your biggest fear? college
14. The Farthest place that you had ever traveled? still colorado
Today…
1. How old are you? 22
2. Where do you go to school? University of Utah
3. Where do you work? was at Smiths, now at home
4. Where do you hang out? Not too sociable, but I could always use an outing
5. How many piercing/ tattoos do you have? One in each ear
6. What car do you drive? honda
7. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? happily married
8. Biggest purchase you have made? we haven't spent more than $100 recently
9. Craziest thing you have done? had a baby
10. Ever stayed the night (as a patient) in a hospital? a week
11. Hardest thing you have ever done? had a baby
12. Who do you date? Still married
13. What is your biggest fear? living with either of our parents
14. The Farthest place that you have ever traveled? New York
9 YEARS AGO…(1999)
1. How old were you? 13
2. Where did you go to school? Box Elder middle school or ACYI
3. Where did you work? baby sitting
4. Where did you hang out? Mostly at Julie's house
5. How many piercing/ tattoos did you have? one in each ear
6. What car did you drive? hotwheels
7. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? single
8. Biggest purchase you had made (not with your parents money)? clothes probably
9. Craziest thing you had done? not sure, nothing too crazy
10. Ever stayed the night (as a patient) in a hospital? Not since birth
11. Hardest thing you had ever done? ask a boy to dance
12. Who did you date? too young
13. What was your biggest fear? never having a boyfriend
14. Farthest place that you had ever traveled? colorado
4 YEARS AGO… (2004)
1. How old were you? 18
2. Where did you go to school? Box Elder high
3. Where did you work? nowhere
4. Where did you hang out? mostly with Julie
5. How many piercing/ tattoos did you have? One in each ear
6. What car did you drive? a family car; caddy, van, potiac, toyota
7. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? single/taken
8. Biggest purchase you had made? probably still clothes
9. Craziest thing you had done? got into the talent show
10. Ever stayed the night (as a patient) in a hospital? Still no
11. Hardest thing you had ever done? tried to figure out life
12. Who did you date? Tyson
13. What was your biggest fear? college
14. The Farthest place that you had ever traveled? still colorado
Today…
1. How old are you? 22
2. Where do you go to school? University of Utah
3. Where do you work? was at Smiths, now at home
4. Where do you hang out? Not too sociable, but I could always use an outing
5. How many piercing/ tattoos do you have? One in each ear
6. What car do you drive? honda
7. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? happily married
8. Biggest purchase you have made? we haven't spent more than $100 recently
9. Craziest thing you have done? had a baby
10. Ever stayed the night (as a patient) in a hospital? a week
11. Hardest thing you have ever done? had a baby
12. Who do you date? Still married
13. What is your biggest fear? living with either of our parents
14. The Farthest place that you have ever traveled? New York
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
old habits die hard
well, here I am at 3am once again playing "baby yo yo" or "baby ping pong" whichever you prefer. I've been fighting hard for 2 months to get Grace on a normal sleeping schedule, and just when I was about to give up a miracle happened! we had one or two good weeks of going to bed before midnight, and then something catastrophic happened: the weekend. daddy decided to stay up later than usual and baby decided she needed to stay up with him. so here we (daddy excluded) are again. going to bed at 3 (or later) and not getting up until 10 (or later). is there no end to this torment? don't get me wrong, I love spending some quiet alone time with my baby, I just wish it was in the "later mornings." it's not that she's not tired, it's just that as soon as the floor creaks or her head hits the mattress her eyes pop open. on top of that, since she's been sleeping so sporatically she hasn't been eating as much, which I guess is ok since the doctor told us to back off the formula a little and give her juice more often. but I think she needs more than 18oz or so in a day, doesn't she? since I try not to give her more than 4oz at a time after 10pm (which complicates things more when she doesn't finish it and wakes for more an hour later), and she doesn't wake until the afternoon she is only really getting a full bottle 3 times a day. it's driving me nuts! I've tried to keep her awake more during the day but she just screams. come to think of it, that's what she does late at night too. I don't know what to do, I am at my wits end. I've tried everything, but it takes 3-5 tries on average to get her to stay asleep in her crib. on the bright side, once she gets to sleep its 6-10 hours before she's awake again. it's not collic or anything, but I wonder if she has some separation anxiety. is that possible? she wakes up because she is alone? I don't know. I just needed to get out some frustration. thanks for your time, now if you'll excuse me, someone thinks she is hungry again.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Baby tag
1. Where were you when you first found out you when you found out you were pregnant? at my parents' house
2. Who was with you? my mom bought the test for me
3. What was your first reaction? I already knew/suspected whatever you want to say
4. What was your husband's reaction? disbelief, he was in New Hampshire
5. Who was the first person you told? my mom and dad
6. Were the pregnancies planned? no
7. Was everyone happy for you? once they believed me
8. What was the sex? girl
9. Did anyone throw a shower for you? yes, Emily. after the baby came
10. Did you get any outfits you wouldn't use? we got a lot of hand-me-downs that I wouldn't put on her, and some she outgrew before she could wear them
11. How much weight did you gain? lost 10, gained 25
12. Did you get stretch marks? yeah, most showed up after she was born
13. Did you crave anything crazy? just slurpees and slushes
14. Who or what got on your nerves the most? work/smells: meat, smokers, infrequent breaks (cashier)
15. Where were you when you went into labor? my bed/hospital bed
16. Did you have any complications? just that she was early
17. Did your water break? the doctor broke it
18. Who drove you to the hospital? hubby/ambulance
19. Did you go early or late? 6 weeks early
20. Who was in the room? funny story...they left the door open! so nurses came in and out, and stood in the doorway to watch....
21. Did you video tape it? no, but everyone saw it anyway! geez!
22. Did you have any pain medication? yeah an epidural.
23. Did you have a c-section or natural? natural
24. What was your reaction to the birth? holy cow! glad she wasn't bigger!
25. How big was the baby? 4lbs 7oz 17.5inches
26. Did your husband cry? a little
27. When is the next one coming? in the distant future??
28. If you could would you do it all over again? I would like more kids, but we'll see what happens
Sunday, November 2, 2008
blessing
Today Erik gave Grace her blessing. We didn't have a lot of family come, but some of the ones who did came a very long way. Erik's mom came from New York, and his aunt and uncle came from Arizona. My family came from Brigham, and my mom's twin brother and his family came from Kaysville. Erik's sister and her family came from Provo and they are moving to New York tomorrow. we had a really good day, it rained a lot and Grace loved the way it felt on her face when it was just drizzly (don't worry I covered her before the rain got bad). Grace loved her dress (the one I got blessed in) and looked like a princess. She started out with 5 bows in her hair, and lost all but one. I put her in the dress that I made after the ceremony so she wouldn't get the other dress dirty. After the blessing we ate some vegetables my family prepared, baked Ziti Erik's mom made, and my homemade apple pies. Here are some pictures I took of Grace yesterday because I knew I would forget to take some today (which was a correct assumption). It was a busy day, so I am hoping that she is down for the count, she's been doing pretty good with her sleeping schedule this week.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Not a big fan of Halloween
I tried a couple of costumes on Grace, a pumpkin I made and a clown my mom bought. She hated the clown, and was ok with the pumpkin as long as we kept the hat off. I bought a pumpkin shirt for myself and Erik went as a Nadar supporter (meaning he didn't really dress up). We didn't go trick-or-treating, I am not a big fan, plus Grace is a little young. Lol. I figure when she is old enough to ask, I will take her. We had a nice dinner with her cousin and his family though. He went as Elmo, sorry no pictures :(.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
feeling good
a few weeks ago I volunteered to make a dress for a girl I know who said she was sad she couldn't afford a christmas dress for her baby. by the time I finished it I was debating keeping it for my own baby, but I knew that wasn't right. so instead I tried it on my baby and took some pictures, she looked beautiful but the dress would probably fit only a few more weeks. I am glad I made the right choice, I just hope my friend likes it as much as I do. she doesn't know who it's from, so if you know her please don't tell her, I want to post pictures, but that would be too obvious as to who has my dress. I don't mean to brag, it was just on my mind the last few days. I still wonder if I made the right choice, but I think I did. I was debating on giving them the dress my mom bought at DI for us, it isn't nearly as cute. oh well. I can always make another dress, but it will have to be different material because I don't have enough of the other. If you know anyone else who might want a dress I have a pattern for up to 18 months I think....I'd have to check. then again, with the moving (still don't know where) it might be hard to squeeze in yet another project...hmm. I will post a picture of the dress after I move (if that is appropriate??).
here's the dress my mom bought
here's the dress my mom bought
Monday, October 20, 2008
see how much I've grown!
In the 3 short months that Grace has been home (now she is 16 weeks old), she has gained a lot of weight!
She came home at a month old weighing somewhere around 6lbs, and is now pushing somewhere close to 13 or 14lbs! She went from size preemie to a size 3-6. Not to mention that she started at 4lbs 7oz, and was too small for the preemie clothes. Good job, Grace!
She came home at a month old weighing somewhere around 6lbs, and is now pushing somewhere close to 13 or 14lbs! She went from size preemie to a size 3-6. Not to mention that she started at 4lbs 7oz, and was too small for the preemie clothes. Good job, Grace!
Generations of fun
Yesterday was my Granny's 83rd birthday so we went to Rexburg, Idaho to see her. We didn't stay long, but we had a nice visit. My Granny kept saying how Grace was her little Deanna, because she looked just like me. I was afraid Grace would break my grandparents because she is so big! That was Grace's first long car ride (longest before this was to Salt lake) and I think she handled it better than I did. She slept the whole time, which made for a long night, luckily daddy knew just what to do to get her to sleep. My grandpa is going to be 90 this year. He has lived through 3 cancers, and is currently fighting off two more. No wonder Grace is such a fighter!! After we got home, I realized that I should have gotten a picture with my dad and his mom a few weeks ago when she came to visit. Then again, she probably wouldn't have let us take her picture. Well, I think they look good in their old age.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
shout out for Steve
check out my friend's music! this is a hilarious mix of music that the whole family will love! especially all you Mormons out there!
http://theymightbeelders.blogspot.com/
http://theymightbeelders.blogspot.com/
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Puppet Maynia!
Check out my other blog and see all my puppets (once I've gotten them all up that is)!! Let me know what you think!! Puppet Maynia
Monday, October 6, 2008
moving?
Erik has decided that he wants to move on after he graduates this december. he wants to move into his mom's basement apartment. his sister and her family will be living in the house too. I don't know how I feel about this decision. but my mom is very against it. she doesn't want us to become dependent on his mom. and it will be hard for me living so far away from home. I've never lived more than 30 minutes away. I will miss all of my friends and family. also, there will likely be 3 dogs living there too, I do not like dogs. mostly because I am allergic.my mom doesn't like the idea of her only grandchild being so far away from her, but on the other hand, his mom is going through that right now with both of her grandkids in Utah while she is in New York. I don't want to be selfish, because Erik left everything for me, and has lived here for 3 years. the thought of living in New York scares me. Especially with all the flooding that they've had in the south, it makes me think it will eventually move north. hopefully we will figure out some kind of compromise. I love my in laws, but I do not know if I want to live with them.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
conference
I've always had a hard time staying awake during conference. maybe it's all the speakers' soft soothing voices, or the calming music? I don't know. but I sure am glad they show it again so that I can catch up on what I missed. All in all, I think the talks have been very good and uplifting. let's just hope I can make it through this last session!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Baby Journal (the long saga)
July 1st 2008
Today you will be one day old. You gave us all a scare when you decided you were ready to come on the 22nd of June (Aunt Sheila’s birthday)instead of the 1st of September. Around 7:00am that Sunday we rushed to the Logan hospital, bringing your poor Uncle Mitch (who was half asleep and had just come to stay with us the day before), and Grandma (Karen) Mayne with us. After the doctor checked me and gave me some medicine, we got to leave (six hours later). It was a very hot summer, mid to high 90s every day. We only had air conditioner in one room, so we had to use a fan to keep cool. Needless to say, you got very hot an wanted to get out. Our second anniversary came on the 24th, and we almost forgot about it. That night you got ready, and we rushed to the hospital again, this time at 5:30am. The doctor said you were anxious to get out and sent us to Mckay Dee Hospital in Ogden (three hours later). We got to ride in an ambulance, while dad took Uncle Mitch home to Brigham and got Grandma and Grandpa (Phil)Mayne. Grandma picked us some really pretty roses from their yard, which Great Grandma (Glenda) Mayne had planted four years earlier. Dad was getting impatient, but they made it in good time. By that time everyone in the whole family and neighborhood were worried about you, because I had dilated to 3cm. You and I were stuck in the hospital until one of two things happened 1: you were born or 2: you waited until you were 34 weeks along and they‘d send us to Logan hospital(you were only 31 when we got there). We did pretty good. Dad had to leave us on Thursday, but my good friend Laura Sheffield helped make things more comfortable for me. She brought me movies, food, and a Game Cube. What a life saver! It’s boring in the hospital. She put up your ultra sound pictures, and the nurses all said you were the cutest baby there. We didn’t have a lot of visitors, but Grandpa Mayne came to see us almost everyday, he liked the break from home and work. He brought us lots of snacks. My good friend Emily Schumann came to visit us too. She bought us some bear claw ice cream. A lot of people wanted to visit, but there wasn’t much time. Julie and Sam Kidd came to see us, and the brought their niece Andee (she sure grew up fast!) By Sunday night you were ready to try again. At 5:30 in the morning (on June 30th, Julie‘s birthday), I notified the nurse. They hooked me up to a machine (again, for the third day) to make sure your heart was beating and to see how hard my stomach was trying to push you out. For some reason they couldn’t see how hard it was pushing. They got the doctor, and he said I had dilated to 8cm. They gave me an IV in my wrist, and an epidural in my back. Dad called Grandma and Grandpa Mayne at 7:00 am, and they came as soon as they could. They called everyone they knew while we waited. By noon it was about time to go, but someone else was in the delivery room so we had to wait. Dad said once we got in there, it only took half an hour for you to come out. They took you away as soon as you came, and put you in a room to be checked out. On the APGAR test you got a 6 at one minute and 8 at five. The doctors were impressed. You weighed roughly 4lbs 7oz, and were 17.5 inches long, a lot bigger that anyone expected. While we waited to see you, dad and your grandparents called everyone again to tell them how good you did. I was tired, and my legs were asleep, but I was happy that I could eat again and that you were safe. Dad was a nervous wreck. He couldn’t stop crying, he was so happy to be a dad and overwhelmed with the thought of taking care of you. I was not, because Sunday night he and grandpa gave us a blessing that everything would be good and told us that our Heavenly father loves us. We finally got to see you again for a minute, just dad and I. You looked so sad. You had wires coming out of you, and a big tube in your throat to help you breathe. You cried when they stuck a big needle in your leg, but no sound came out because of the tube. I cried a little too. Then they sent us away again. We ate breakfast and watched a little TV while we waited for them to tell us it was ok to see you again (around 5:00 pm). It seemed like you were on the other side of the hospital (so far away), we went through a maze of hallways just to find you. We finally found you, and dad started crying a little. Such a beautiful baby girl! You looked much better than you did before, you were sleeping peacefully. You were a little annoyed with us at first for waking you up, but then you were happy to have us there. I talked to you while dad wiped away his tears of joy. The doctors were really nice and answered all the questions dad had for them. After we got a couple of pictures with dad’s cell phone and sent them out, Grandma and Grandpa came back to the hospital to see you. Grandpa took a lot of pictures, you didn’t seem to mind the flash too much. Then the doctor said I could hold you. That was the happiest moment of my life. You are so precious to me. I wanted to hold you so much. You were very happy to have me hold you. You even opened your eyes to see me for the first time. You were so tired, and went right to sleep. I got to hold you for a long time, while dad and Grandpa took more pictures. Grandma just looked at you with admiration and didn’t say much, you are our little princess. Grandma Kulick wanted to be there with us so badly, but was in Long Island, New York. She bought you lots of clothes (I am sure are just adorable). After a while they told us we had to go, so that you wouldn’t get too stressed out. It was a long agonizing night. I wanted to hold you, but I couldn’t. We got to see you from 10:00am to noon, dad changed your diaper and got to hold you for the first time. The doctors were very impressed with you, you didn’t need the oxygen tubes anymore and they took out the annoying tube from your belly. You were your old self again, kicking an squirming non stop. The doctor said you tried to take out your IV today, so they wrapped your hand up in tape with a big cotton ball (which you liked to stick in your mouth). You looked like a little frog stretching your legs out and snapping them back in. Everyone agrees that you are the prettiest baby they have every seen. Grandpa came to see us again. He said you are “amazing“. Grandma is coming to visit you too, and to help me get through this hard time. They say I have to leave tomorrow. I am very sad, haven‘t stopped crying since they told me. I won’t get to see you so much. But Grandpa said I could go with him before he goes to work (or after)so I can at least see you everyday. I will be staying just down the road, but it feels so far away. Now I know how your dad feels, you are so hard to stay away from, we miss you too much. We are so lucky to have you, and you are lucky to be so healthy. The nurse put a little red bow on your head, because she thought such a beautiful princess needed a bow. You didn't like it when I changed your diaper, but you fell asleep so quickly in my arms. You got your first taste of breast milk today. It was a from a donor, and it went in through a tube in your nose. You didn't like the tube, but I think you liked the milk. That's all the excitement I have for today, but I am sure there will be more to report tomorrow. I am very tired, I didn’t get to sleep yet, and it’s 9:30pm. I didn’t get to eat much either, but Grandma went to find something for dinner. She is very good to us.
July 2nd
The doctor said you are doing well and there is a chance that very soon they might send you to the Logan hospital so that we can be at home. That will make things a lot easier. Dad and I both got to hold you today. We got to watch the nurse give you a sponge bath, you really liked it when she brushed your hair, you had a big smile on your face. They say you might get to come out of the jaundice light tomorrow. This morning you were already eating 6ml of breast milk every two hours (still with the tube, but the doctor let you taste a little), and by the end of the day you were eating 12ml. Tonight you get mine for the first time. I got 6ml this afternoon and 22ml after our visit tonight. We were surprised I could get things going so fast. The guest house isn’t bad, it’s almost better than the hospital. We don’t have nurses everywhere, and we can leave whenever we want. We can even eat whenever we want, and we don’t have to stay in bed all day. The downsides are that you are about a mile away, there is no internet, and we have to share the TV. I got my own bathroom, though it doesn’t have a shower. I was excited to see I was staying in the pink room. I don’t know what color the other two rooms are. One of the girls is really nice, she is from Brigham too. Her baby was staying in the same room as you until today, he isn’t doing as well as you are though. He was born at the right time, but he has seizures. We are hoping he will get well soon. We met the family of one of the other babies today, they had two other children. Their girl was probably not even 2 years old and the boy was probably 4. They were really cute, dad couldn’t stop looking at them. The little girl waved at me while dad talked to her grandma about their baby. Dad and I went to the store today, and we looked at the newborn clothes there, the smallest size would fit two of you! The weather is still very hot, but at least you get to stay where it is just the right temperature. I listened to your favorite song (What is Love--Haddaway)a few times today, it made me smile because it made me think of you. You used to dance when you were in my belly, you really liked a lot of songs from the Night at the Roxbury soundtrack, and stuff by Erasure and Pet shop boys. I can’t until I can play music for you again. I think it will make you happy. You liked it when they’d play the organ at church too.
July 3rd
You are already eating 24ml! Soon you will be able to eat without the tube. I got a total of 147ml (4.9oz) for you today, we seem to be progressing at the same level. They say I we might get to test drive feeding together, but I have to be empty so you don’t choke. You seem to like my milk, but maybe you just like having a full belly. You are really getting the sucking part down (on a pacifier) but you are still working of swallowing. They said once you get swallowing and pooping down, you will be ready to get out of the NICU (newborn intensive care unit). We are counting the days. They still have you under the jaundice lamps, they actually had to get another one because you were too big for just one. They say that this way you will get better much quicker. Tonight they took out the IV from your hands, and they moved you to a different room because you were the most stable baby and they needed to make room for someone else. You really liked the ride down the hall, you were smiling a lot. Your new room is much quieter. Most of the other babies in there don’t even need to be in an incubator. The are a lot less nurses and doctors too, less than half. Emily and Laura got to see you today. Grandpa didn’t come today because he thinks he is getting a cold and doesn’t want to make you sick. Tomorrow is the 4th of July, so you might get to meet more of the family. They won’t let uncle Mitch see you though, because he is under 14, I don’t think that’s very fair. Maybe we’ll tell them he is 14, because I think he deserves to meet you since you ruined his stay at our house (I am sure he‘ll forgive you).
July 4th
You don’t have to be under the lights anymore. You are wearing clothes now, and we both got to hold you for an hour (dad did a skin to skin hold). Grandma and Aunt Amanda got to hold you too, you liked that a lot. I am averaging about 1oz every 2 hours. They are now giving you the maximum amount of milk they can give you, 38ml. I got to change a poopy diaper today. It was very full, and dark, we are so proud of you. We just need to get you out of the incubator and maybe you can come home with us, maybe as soon as next week we hope. Mitch and Mike didn’t come see you because they wanted to play with fireworks, they are pyromaniacs. Grandpa was still feeling sick so he stayed home. Dad and I didn’t go out to see any fireworks, but we heard a lot of them, someone was even having a concert we could hear.
July 5th
Things are going pretty well. You aren’t gaining weight, you are actually losing, but they say it is because most of your diapers are poopy. You didn’t need the incubator today, but they say if you can’t get warm you have to go back in. the nurse put a hat on your head to help you keep warm. We call you our little snow bunny. Maybe they should let you go outside, it has been almost 100° everyday this summer. They started supplementing your food with calories, and it isn’t agreeing with your belly, so hopefully they can figure something out so you aren’t spitting up anymore. I am doing pretty good supplying you with food, I got over 8oz today. Uncle Mike came to see you today. Grandma said he had a really good time and took lot of pictures. I tried “non nutritive feeding” today. You immediately “latched on” to the right side, but we had to take it away because you got a little milk out and choked on it. I tried the other side, but you were too sleepy. That’s ok, though, because it was a little drippy too, so I gave you a little taste on my finger, you really liked that. Dad went back home today. He decided he couldn’t miss anymore work. He was sad to leave you, he is very dedicated, he visited you at least four times every day, even when I was feeling too sick or tired to come.
July 6th
You were very smiley today, it made me happy to see you like that. You didn’t spit up very much today, which is great. Uncle Mike is letting us use his car while dad is working, that makes it easier to see you I’d have to take a bus otherwise because I can’t walk that far. I was a little lonely today. I am getting homesick. I don’t want us to be stuck in Ogden anymore. It breaks my heart to see you in the hospital, I feel like there is nothing I can do to help you. We are both so helpless right now. I spent close to 6 hours with you today. Jeremy and Jeanette Raiser (Sheila’s sister and brother-in-law) came to see us today. They think you are the most beautiful baby. I want to take you home so badly. This is very hard for me. I am very tired, physically and emotionally. My back hurts pretty bad, and dad is really worried. He wants me to talk to a doctor, but I am too worried about you to care about my back. I am so worried that I won’t be able to care for you the way you need. I want you to be healthy. I just wish I could have you with me all the time to hug and snuggle. Even at 4lbs you are too heavy for my arms for very long, I would like to snuggle in a more comfortable setting than the hospital. Dad and I really wanted to try non nutritive feeding again but I didn’t do it because we had visitors. Maybe tomorrow I will, you really want it too. I can tell because you are always opening your mouth like you want something in it. I let you suck my thumb today, you really liked that. I try to sneak you a little taste ever now and then, but you are usually asleep. They gave you another bath, this time your bow is green. I was a little worried though, because they put you in a summer outfit and didn’t wrap you in as many blankets, I hope you didn’t get too cold. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.
July 7th
Today was a little better for me. Grandpa and Laura came to visit us, and he bought me food. I tried feeding you again, you did really well. I think you may have gotten a little milk, but you didn’t have any trouble swallowing this time. You really wanted me to try it again, but I didn’t want to do it in front of Laura and Grandpa. You stayed awake the whole feeding waiting for me, I am sorry. You had to go back in the incubator today, and they were going to put the lights back on you too, but you gained 2oz from yesterday. We had a good nap together today while you were feeding. I like snuggling with you, you are so cozy. I wish you hadn‘t been so cold, I tried to keep you warm but I think the incubator will help a lot. Aunt Christy sent us a lot of stuff for you, she is so generous! Grandma Kulick sent you a lot of stuff too. Dad got to open them, I don’t even know what is in them. We are so blessed to have so many people love us this much. I hope we get to go home very soon, you have already been in the hospital one week.
July 8th
They took you out of the incubator, but put an oxygen tube in your nose. I tried feeding again, but you were too sleepy and didn’t know what you wanted. They checked your eyes too, they said they look good. I got to give you your sponge bath today, you didn’t mind when I washed your face, but then you got mad at me because I wasn’t feeding you. My good friend Lisa Evans called her friend Kim to bring me food. She bought me a lot of groceries. That was very nice of her! I got 88ml of milk for you while I was at the hospital, that’s a record for me. They said that you are now healthy enough to go to the Logan hospital (tomorrow morning at 10:00 in an ambulance). I am so happy! I just hope they have someone really nice to look after you when I am not there. It’s like dad said, God was just waiting for me to have faith before he would let me go home. We are so blessed. Aunt Christy sent another package, this one had diapers and wipes. She is spoiling us! I don’t know how we could ever repay her for all that she does. It is amazing to me to see all the people that care about you, especially since they’ve never even met you. You are so special, everyone can see that. You are surely one of God’s elite, hence the reason dad wanted to name you Grace. We tell everyone it is through God’s grace you have come to us at this time, and you have surpassed every obstacle in your way. You are a fighter. When you are determined, you can do anything. Don’t ever forget that. Trust in God, he will answer your prayers, but first you must pray. I am a little nervous, this will be my first time driving home from Ogden, Grandpa gave me some directions and told me it won’t be as scary as it seems. I just need to have faith that God will keep me safe. I don’t know what I will do with the things Kim bought for me, I don’t want them to spoil while I am checking us out of the hospital. Grandma said maybe I should get one of those foam coolers…that could work. I will go buy one tonight, so I don’t forget tomorrow.
July 10th
Yesterday you got to go to the Logan hospital. You were scheduled to leave at 10:30, but we didn’t leave until 11:30. I only got lost once, and it was probably good I did because I had to go back to the hospital to get the milk they left in the fridge. After leaving the hospital the second time I didn’t have any problems. Once I got home I had a long list of things to do, most of which I haven‘t done yet. Everyone was glad to see we were back. You got a little stressed out from all the excitement, and started doing some periodic breathing. You actually stopped breathing at one point, silly girl. You were doing a lot better today, but you were very sleepy. I am very sleepy too. Your weight today is 4lbs 9oz. Things seem to be going in the right direction. Amanda Hunt and her mom and sister came to see you today. They were so thrilled to see you. You’re still the cutest baby, all the nurses say so. People just can’t get over how cute you are, and how sweet you are. The house is still a wreck, but I will work on it while I wait for you to get better. All the neighbors want to bring us food, that will make things easier on me. I don’t know how anyone can get through this kind of situation without the loving support of their friends and neighbors. I got to give you another sponge bath today, you weren’t very happy with me, but your belly button gunk came off. They wanted to give you a bottle tonight. I have heard that could be good or bad for you, what I mean is that you might not want to breastfeed. I guess we’ll just have to see what happens. On the bright side, you were able to drink 9ml on your own! I think I must be getting dehydrated, because I am supposed to be getting 3oz (every 3 hours), and I am not even getting 2oz most times. I still haven’t gone to the doctor yet, calling him is one of those things I didn’t get around to yet. I think I was supposed to go last week, sometime shortly after you were born. Then again, he was on vacation when you decided to come, that‘s life. You are so special! I miss you terribly when I have to go away, but if I stayed at the hospital all day I would not be able to take care of myself. It’s hard sometimes, but I am sure it will soon be over and you will be at home where we can do whatever we want, that will be nice. I am excited to be able to go to church this week, though, I was starting to feel very sad because I couldn't go for three weeks.
July 12th
You are doing really well. You are 4lbs 11.9oz. Last night you drank 15ml from the bottle. We tried breastfeeding again. You and I were getting really frustrated before the nurse came in and decided to help us. We were able to accomplish something once she gave me a breast shield that you could latch onto. After that we were both pretty pooped. Grandma and Grandpa Mayne came with Uncle Mike and Mitch, and Aunt Amanda. We were all sad they wouldn’t let Mitch in even though they let Rachel (who is a few months younger) in a couple days ago. We got the package from Grandma Kulick yesterday, there were a lot of really cute clothes. The doctor took out the fortifiers in your milk, so now you are back to just milk (no vitamin D, etc.). Grandma Mayne thinks that I am like her and may not be able to improve the volume of milk I am producing and will eventually have to buy formula. I hope not, even though this is really hard to do, it costs a lot less. The nurses say we are doing really well for how young you are, and dad said I just need to be patient. Neither of us are as patient as dad, you get just as frustrated as me.
July 13th
I got to go to church today, we were late and missed the first two speakers because we were visiting you and then we talked to our friend Lillian Severson. Everyone was happy to see us. I got sad though, because we were sitting by two women whose babies are only three weeks older than you. They have you eating 46ml now, and you are 4lbs 13.5oz!! We think that as soon as you are able to eat 46ml on your own they will let you come home. You did great breastfeeding today, you ate for 7min before you fell asleep. I think the nurses said you are still eating about 15ml from the bottle. We are so proud of you! We know that you will be able to do it, you are very determined. Sometimes a little too determined, you get so excited you forget to breathe. We’ll have to work on that. We had dinner with Jeremy and Jeanette. They made barbeque chicken and mashed potatoes. It was good, they sent some home with us for tomorrow. They are so nice. Everyone wants to throw us a baby shower and spoil us some more…I don’t know what to tell them. I am sure you wouldn’t mind having so many people love you. You are everyone’s favorite baby at the hospital, you know. I tell you that everyday, but it’s true. You are the most beautiful baby, and you never cry (even when you are mad at me). I know that God has something very special planned for you, because he has sent his most trusted guardian angels to watch over you. He has kept you safe from so many things, we can’t even comprehend how much he loves you. I was thinking today that I know how he feels, seeing his babies being cared for by someone else, and all he wants is to take us home. That’s how I feel. All I want is for you to come home, but I know it is for your benefit that you stay in the hospital. It seems so simple, but now I really understand. They always say the plan makes more sense when you become a parent. You really start to understand how God is feeling. He only wants the best for his children, and it hurts him so much when he sees us struggling and he can’t always take away our pain. Grandma Kulick keeps telling us to give you a blessing, so that you will be able to relax and not remember all the pain and stress you have had in your life these last few weeks. I think you would like that. I also think you would like it if I played you some church songs (like Lil suggested). I guess we’ll see what tomorrow brings.
July 15th
You are 5lbs today!! They are feeding you 49ml now, and you re doing a lot better with your periodic breathing. The nurses say there is a good chance you will come home sometime in the next two weeks. All you need to do is stay awake long enough to eat all you need. They say you got 36ml from the bottle the other day, and you breastfed for 15 minutes yesterday. You were very sleepy today, but dad thinks that the more you get used to eating the faster you will progress. They want to try eating on your own (bottle or breastfeed)every six hours.
July 17th
Yesterday you were still a little sleepy, but I think it was because you had to wait so long to eat (at least 20 minutes each time I was there). They want me to talk to a lactation specialist again today, because I was ready to give up yesterday. We got really frustrated with each other when I came to see you on my own, and tried to breastfeed. Grandma Mayne, Aunt Amanda and Melanie Capell came to see us yesterday and brought us lots of food. Grandma helped us at 10:00pm so that we wouldn’t get mad at each other again. Hopefully we can get the hang of this thing soon so you can come home! We also had some people from the ward come clean out house. It looks a lot better, the floor is so shiny! I don’t think it has been this clean in a long time. The nurse gave you another bath, this time she gelled your hair. Grandma loved it because it gave you little curls. I am not sure I like that look for you so much. But you look really good in purple. Today you were still quite sleepy. But you almost ate all 49ml from the bottle dad gave you. This time you were wearing pink. They say you are 5lb 3.2oz. It looks like there is a good chance you will be coming home next week. We are so excited!! I hope the time passes quickly.
July 19th
Today is Uncle Mitch’s birthday and he is going to Hawaii! Grandma and Aunt Amanda are going with him, since he is only 13. I haven’t talked to him lately, but I am sure he is excited, I know I would be. You have been doing really good with your eating. They say you usually get 40ml from the bottle, and you ate for 30minutes last night when I breastfed you, and I think you were still hungry. The doctor said it’s only a matter of time now before you come home, and one of the nurses said that one day you’ll get it and surprise us all and eat great every time. You are getting more vocal these days, yesterday you got a little fussy and actually cried. Great Grandma Mayne said that’s how Aunt Shell was as a baby, she never cried. I just hope you get a little more vocal when you come home so I will know when to feed you at night. I guess I could always set an alarm to make sure you get food. I will try to keep you on the schedule the doctors have you on. I can’t wait!
July 21st
Yesterday we helped the nurse give you a bath in your pink tub, you were very slippery. You like tub bathing much more than sponge bathing. We all agreed you look good in yellow. You are now one pound heavier than you were when you were born. You are gaining weight very well, and becoming more vocal. You still like to hold your breath a lot, like when you are filling up your diaper, so you still have to use an oxygen tube. You are doing very well with your eating, and it seems that you prefer breastfeeding now. You eat consistently for at least 15 minutes every time, and you are getting stronger. You like to eat really fast, and sometimes forget to swallow, but you are improving a lot. You are three weeks old today.
July 28th
In the past week you reached 6lbs, and started eating 52ml or more, and you have a big appetite. Last night your nurse took out the feeding tube, and so far you haven’t needed it. You got your eyes checked again, they haven’t completely matured yet which may cause problems later. I finally got to meet your doctors today, one of them wants to see you again in 2 weeks to get your eyes checked again, and the other wants to send you home tomorrow!! We will have to take home some oxygen and monitors, I am not sure how long you will need them. The nurses said they tried to wean you off of the extra oxygen, but so far it hasn’t worked. You are very dependant. It is very normal for them to send babies home with oxygen though, because that is the only thing keeping them in the hospital. Everyone is excited for you to come home, it has been hard having you away from me, especially since you seem so upset when I leave you. Grandma Kulick suggested that dad should give you a father’s blessing, it made me cry because it was the first time he’s ever given a blessing. In church I was missing you so much it made me cry, so my friend Caroline Murphree let me hold her baby Rebecca (who is a few weeks older than you). It made me feel better, but it just wasn’t the same as holding you.
August 2nd
Today was your 5th day home (you came home Tuesday, today is Saturday). The first day wasn’t bad, but the first night was a little hectic. We didn’t know you were cold, and so I kept feeding you when you woke up. The next day was bad because you were so bloated you didn’t want to eat. Dad got you some drops, and they seem to help a lot. You like to eat every two hours instead of every three like you were at the hospital. You’ve had two baths, you seemed to like it, but you weren’t in there too long because I didn’t want you to get too cold. It has been so hot lately. You had lots of visitors today. Uncle Neil and Aunt Shell came by on their way home. They were so excited to see you, especially Aunt Shell since we named you after her. She was a little nervous to hold you because you are so small, and her “baby” is now 27. Uncle Mitch and Grandpa came with them. My friend Olympia Brewer came by a little later and brought you a little princess outfit. You’ve had a pretty busy week, we took you to the doctor yesterday. Everything is going great. You are 6lbs 8oz now. We were a little worried though, because you are very gassy and hadn’t pooped since Tuesday morning. Luckily, Aunt Shell got you really relaxed and you let it all out, otherwise we would have had to give you something to help you (trust me, I don’t think you would have liked to have another one, you’ve already had two since you were born). Uncle Neil was excited because you gave out two “trucker burps” when Mitch was holding you. You were very comfortable with everyone taking a turn holding you. On top of that, you won’t be needing the oxygen much longer, in fact we had it off most of the day and your levels stayed pretty high. I am thinking tomorrow we will go to sacrament and show you off to the ward. A lot of them have already seen you because they brought us food. We are so blessed to have such great neighbors.
August 24th
It has been very busy since you came home. We took you off the oxygen two days after my last entry, and you have been doing great without it. You like to eat a lot. You are already over 7lbs and 21inches. I can’t believe how big you are getting. Your eyes are fully matured now, and you love to open them and look around. Your eyes are getting brighter everyday, right now they are a dark silver. You smile a lot more now, I recently discovered that you have dimples, a lot of dimples. We had a baby shower for you this week, you got a lot of stuff like blankets and clothes. You are still getting used to being around a lot of people, but you let anyone hold you. You have a favorite song now, you like the Three Stooges’ version of the ABC’s, but you like it more when I sing it. We discovered that you like bumps, you smile really big when we go over them with a shopping cart or stroller. Your favorite toy is from Aunt Kirsten, it’s a glow worm that plays music. It is still very hot, but you are doing a lot better at keeping warm so I don’t feel bad having the fan on all the time. You can hold your head up pretty well, not completely though. You are already trying to talk and crawl, and you really like to wave your arms around. Sometimes I like to think you are trying to hug me when you smack me in the face, because it seems like you are reaching for me when you do. Tomorrow you will be 8 weeks old, 2 months old on Friday! My, how time flies.
September 8th
You are 10 weeks old today. Last week you were very sick, and still have a very stuffy nose. You didn’t sleep very much and cried a lot. We gave you formula for the first time because we forgot to bring some milk for you when we went out to see Grandma and Grandpa Mayne. You did a lot better with the Similac than you did with the Emfamil we gave you a few days earlier. Mostly you were just very gassy and had a one really poopy diaper that came out the back and went all over your clothes. You slept all night last night, from 1:30am to 6:30am. It was a nice change from when you didn’t go to bed at all. We still don’t know how much you’ve grown because the doctor cancelled our appointment last week, but we have another one on Wednesday. I am afraid you may have lost weight because you are sick. You are doing much better this week, so far, you are awake a lot more and seem to be a lot happier. I might be able to get stuff done finally!!
October 4th
You are now 3 months old and a whopping 12lbs (or close to)! No one would even know you were premature! You are so smart. Still working on sitting, but you are doing great! You can roll over if someone is holding you, and you can push your head up all the way even when you're on the floor. Recently you started holding your own bottle! I still have to help, but you'll get the hang of it eventually. We had to take you to the hospital this week. You didn't like it, but you are handling things well. You like to laugh at daddy, and smile all the time! I only wish we could get on a regular schedule. Oh well, eventually you might go back to sleeping at night and staying awake during the day.
Today you will be one day old. You gave us all a scare when you decided you were ready to come on the 22nd of June (Aunt Sheila’s birthday)instead of the 1st of September. Around 7:00am that Sunday we rushed to the Logan hospital, bringing your poor Uncle Mitch (who was half asleep and had just come to stay with us the day before), and Grandma (Karen) Mayne with us. After the doctor checked me and gave me some medicine, we got to leave (six hours later). It was a very hot summer, mid to high 90s every day. We only had air conditioner in one room, so we had to use a fan to keep cool. Needless to say, you got very hot an wanted to get out. Our second anniversary came on the 24th, and we almost forgot about it. That night you got ready, and we rushed to the hospital again, this time at 5:30am. The doctor said you were anxious to get out and sent us to Mckay Dee Hospital in Ogden (three hours later). We got to ride in an ambulance, while dad took Uncle Mitch home to Brigham and got Grandma and Grandpa (Phil)Mayne. Grandma picked us some really pretty roses from their yard, which Great Grandma (Glenda) Mayne had planted four years earlier. Dad was getting impatient, but they made it in good time. By that time everyone in the whole family and neighborhood were worried about you, because I had dilated to 3cm. You and I were stuck in the hospital until one of two things happened 1: you were born or 2: you waited until you were 34 weeks along and they‘d send us to Logan hospital(you were only 31 when we got there). We did pretty good. Dad had to leave us on Thursday, but my good friend Laura Sheffield helped make things more comfortable for me. She brought me movies, food, and a Game Cube. What a life saver! It’s boring in the hospital. She put up your ultra sound pictures, and the nurses all said you were the cutest baby there. We didn’t have a lot of visitors, but Grandpa Mayne came to see us almost everyday, he liked the break from home and work. He brought us lots of snacks. My good friend Emily Schumann came to visit us too. She bought us some bear claw ice cream. A lot of people wanted to visit, but there wasn’t much time. Julie and Sam Kidd came to see us, and the brought their niece Andee (she sure grew up fast!) By Sunday night you were ready to try again. At 5:30 in the morning (on June 30th, Julie‘s birthday), I notified the nurse. They hooked me up to a machine (again, for the third day) to make sure your heart was beating and to see how hard my stomach was trying to push you out. For some reason they couldn’t see how hard it was pushing. They got the doctor, and he said I had dilated to 8cm. They gave me an IV in my wrist, and an epidural in my back. Dad called Grandma and Grandpa Mayne at 7:00 am, and they came as soon as they could. They called everyone they knew while we waited. By noon it was about time to go, but someone else was in the delivery room so we had to wait. Dad said once we got in there, it only took half an hour for you to come out. They took you away as soon as you came, and put you in a room to be checked out. On the APGAR test you got a 6 at one minute and 8 at five. The doctors were impressed. You weighed roughly 4lbs 7oz, and were 17.5 inches long, a lot bigger that anyone expected. While we waited to see you, dad and your grandparents called everyone again to tell them how good you did. I was tired, and my legs were asleep, but I was happy that I could eat again and that you were safe. Dad was a nervous wreck. He couldn’t stop crying, he was so happy to be a dad and overwhelmed with the thought of taking care of you. I was not, because Sunday night he and grandpa gave us a blessing that everything would be good and told us that our Heavenly father loves us. We finally got to see you again for a minute, just dad and I. You looked so sad. You had wires coming out of you, and a big tube in your throat to help you breathe. You cried when they stuck a big needle in your leg, but no sound came out because of the tube. I cried a little too. Then they sent us away again. We ate breakfast and watched a little TV while we waited for them to tell us it was ok to see you again (around 5:00 pm). It seemed like you were on the other side of the hospital (so far away), we went through a maze of hallways just to find you. We finally found you, and dad started crying a little. Such a beautiful baby girl! You looked much better than you did before, you were sleeping peacefully. You were a little annoyed with us at first for waking you up, but then you were happy to have us there. I talked to you while dad wiped away his tears of joy. The doctors were really nice and answered all the questions dad had for them. After we got a couple of pictures with dad’s cell phone and sent them out, Grandma and Grandpa came back to the hospital to see you. Grandpa took a lot of pictures, you didn’t seem to mind the flash too much. Then the doctor said I could hold you. That was the happiest moment of my life. You are so precious to me. I wanted to hold you so much. You were very happy to have me hold you. You even opened your eyes to see me for the first time. You were so tired, and went right to sleep. I got to hold you for a long time, while dad and Grandpa took more pictures. Grandma just looked at you with admiration and didn’t say much, you are our little princess. Grandma Kulick wanted to be there with us so badly, but was in Long Island, New York. She bought you lots of clothes (I am sure are just adorable). After a while they told us we had to go, so that you wouldn’t get too stressed out. It was a long agonizing night. I wanted to hold you, but I couldn’t. We got to see you from 10:00am to noon, dad changed your diaper and got to hold you for the first time. The doctors were very impressed with you, you didn’t need the oxygen tubes anymore and they took out the annoying tube from your belly. You were your old self again, kicking an squirming non stop. The doctor said you tried to take out your IV today, so they wrapped your hand up in tape with a big cotton ball (which you liked to stick in your mouth). You looked like a little frog stretching your legs out and snapping them back in. Everyone agrees that you are the prettiest baby they have every seen. Grandpa came to see us again. He said you are “amazing“. Grandma is coming to visit you too, and to help me get through this hard time. They say I have to leave tomorrow. I am very sad, haven‘t stopped crying since they told me. I won’t get to see you so much. But Grandpa said I could go with him before he goes to work (or after)so I can at least see you everyday. I will be staying just down the road, but it feels so far away. Now I know how your dad feels, you are so hard to stay away from, we miss you too much. We are so lucky to have you, and you are lucky to be so healthy. The nurse put a little red bow on your head, because she thought such a beautiful princess needed a bow. You didn't like it when I changed your diaper, but you fell asleep so quickly in my arms. You got your first taste of breast milk today. It was a from a donor, and it went in through a tube in your nose. You didn't like the tube, but I think you liked the milk. That's all the excitement I have for today, but I am sure there will be more to report tomorrow. I am very tired, I didn’t get to sleep yet, and it’s 9:30pm. I didn’t get to eat much either, but Grandma went to find something for dinner. She is very good to us.
July 2nd
The doctor said you are doing well and there is a chance that very soon they might send you to the Logan hospital so that we can be at home. That will make things a lot easier. Dad and I both got to hold you today. We got to watch the nurse give you a sponge bath, you really liked it when she brushed your hair, you had a big smile on your face. They say you might get to come out of the jaundice light tomorrow. This morning you were already eating 6ml of breast milk every two hours (still with the tube, but the doctor let you taste a little), and by the end of the day you were eating 12ml. Tonight you get mine for the first time. I got 6ml this afternoon and 22ml after our visit tonight. We were surprised I could get things going so fast. The guest house isn’t bad, it’s almost better than the hospital. We don’t have nurses everywhere, and we can leave whenever we want. We can even eat whenever we want, and we don’t have to stay in bed all day. The downsides are that you are about a mile away, there is no internet, and we have to share the TV. I got my own bathroom, though it doesn’t have a shower. I was excited to see I was staying in the pink room. I don’t know what color the other two rooms are. One of the girls is really nice, she is from Brigham too. Her baby was staying in the same room as you until today, he isn’t doing as well as you are though. He was born at the right time, but he has seizures. We are hoping he will get well soon. We met the family of one of the other babies today, they had two other children. Their girl was probably not even 2 years old and the boy was probably 4. They were really cute, dad couldn’t stop looking at them. The little girl waved at me while dad talked to her grandma about their baby. Dad and I went to the store today, and we looked at the newborn clothes there, the smallest size would fit two of you! The weather is still very hot, but at least you get to stay where it is just the right temperature. I listened to your favorite song (What is Love--Haddaway)a few times today, it made me smile because it made me think of you. You used to dance when you were in my belly, you really liked a lot of songs from the Night at the Roxbury soundtrack, and stuff by Erasure and Pet shop boys. I can’t until I can play music for you again. I think it will make you happy. You liked it when they’d play the organ at church too.
July 3rd
You are already eating 24ml! Soon you will be able to eat without the tube. I got a total of 147ml (4.9oz) for you today, we seem to be progressing at the same level. They say I we might get to test drive feeding together, but I have to be empty so you don’t choke. You seem to like my milk, but maybe you just like having a full belly. You are really getting the sucking part down (on a pacifier) but you are still working of swallowing. They said once you get swallowing and pooping down, you will be ready to get out of the NICU (newborn intensive care unit). We are counting the days. They still have you under the jaundice lamps, they actually had to get another one because you were too big for just one. They say that this way you will get better much quicker. Tonight they took out the IV from your hands, and they moved you to a different room because you were the most stable baby and they needed to make room for someone else. You really liked the ride down the hall, you were smiling a lot. Your new room is much quieter. Most of the other babies in there don’t even need to be in an incubator. The are a lot less nurses and doctors too, less than half. Emily and Laura got to see you today. Grandpa didn’t come today because he thinks he is getting a cold and doesn’t want to make you sick. Tomorrow is the 4th of July, so you might get to meet more of the family. They won’t let uncle Mitch see you though, because he is under 14, I don’t think that’s very fair. Maybe we’ll tell them he is 14, because I think he deserves to meet you since you ruined his stay at our house (I am sure he‘ll forgive you).
July 4th
You don’t have to be under the lights anymore. You are wearing clothes now, and we both got to hold you for an hour (dad did a skin to skin hold). Grandma and Aunt Amanda got to hold you too, you liked that a lot. I am averaging about 1oz every 2 hours. They are now giving you the maximum amount of milk they can give you, 38ml. I got to change a poopy diaper today. It was very full, and dark, we are so proud of you. We just need to get you out of the incubator and maybe you can come home with us, maybe as soon as next week we hope. Mitch and Mike didn’t come see you because they wanted to play with fireworks, they are pyromaniacs. Grandpa was still feeling sick so he stayed home. Dad and I didn’t go out to see any fireworks, but we heard a lot of them, someone was even having a concert we could hear.
July 5th
Things are going pretty well. You aren’t gaining weight, you are actually losing, but they say it is because most of your diapers are poopy. You didn’t need the incubator today, but they say if you can’t get warm you have to go back in. the nurse put a hat on your head to help you keep warm. We call you our little snow bunny. Maybe they should let you go outside, it has been almost 100° everyday this summer. They started supplementing your food with calories, and it isn’t agreeing with your belly, so hopefully they can figure something out so you aren’t spitting up anymore. I am doing pretty good supplying you with food, I got over 8oz today. Uncle Mike came to see you today. Grandma said he had a really good time and took lot of pictures. I tried “non nutritive feeding” today. You immediately “latched on” to the right side, but we had to take it away because you got a little milk out and choked on it. I tried the other side, but you were too sleepy. That’s ok, though, because it was a little drippy too, so I gave you a little taste on my finger, you really liked that. Dad went back home today. He decided he couldn’t miss anymore work. He was sad to leave you, he is very dedicated, he visited you at least four times every day, even when I was feeling too sick or tired to come.
July 6th
You were very smiley today, it made me happy to see you like that. You didn’t spit up very much today, which is great. Uncle Mike is letting us use his car while dad is working, that makes it easier to see you I’d have to take a bus otherwise because I can’t walk that far. I was a little lonely today. I am getting homesick. I don’t want us to be stuck in Ogden anymore. It breaks my heart to see you in the hospital, I feel like there is nothing I can do to help you. We are both so helpless right now. I spent close to 6 hours with you today. Jeremy and Jeanette Raiser (Sheila’s sister and brother-in-law) came to see us today. They think you are the most beautiful baby. I want to take you home so badly. This is very hard for me. I am very tired, physically and emotionally. My back hurts pretty bad, and dad is really worried. He wants me to talk to a doctor, but I am too worried about you to care about my back. I am so worried that I won’t be able to care for you the way you need. I want you to be healthy. I just wish I could have you with me all the time to hug and snuggle. Even at 4lbs you are too heavy for my arms for very long, I would like to snuggle in a more comfortable setting than the hospital. Dad and I really wanted to try non nutritive feeding again but I didn’t do it because we had visitors. Maybe tomorrow I will, you really want it too. I can tell because you are always opening your mouth like you want something in it. I let you suck my thumb today, you really liked that. I try to sneak you a little taste ever now and then, but you are usually asleep. They gave you another bath, this time your bow is green. I was a little worried though, because they put you in a summer outfit and didn’t wrap you in as many blankets, I hope you didn’t get too cold. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.
July 7th
Today was a little better for me. Grandpa and Laura came to visit us, and he bought me food. I tried feeding you again, you did really well. I think you may have gotten a little milk, but you didn’t have any trouble swallowing this time. You really wanted me to try it again, but I didn’t want to do it in front of Laura and Grandpa. You stayed awake the whole feeding waiting for me, I am sorry. You had to go back in the incubator today, and they were going to put the lights back on you too, but you gained 2oz from yesterday. We had a good nap together today while you were feeding. I like snuggling with you, you are so cozy. I wish you hadn‘t been so cold, I tried to keep you warm but I think the incubator will help a lot. Aunt Christy sent us a lot of stuff for you, she is so generous! Grandma Kulick sent you a lot of stuff too. Dad got to open them, I don’t even know what is in them. We are so blessed to have so many people love us this much. I hope we get to go home very soon, you have already been in the hospital one week.
July 8th
They took you out of the incubator, but put an oxygen tube in your nose. I tried feeding again, but you were too sleepy and didn’t know what you wanted. They checked your eyes too, they said they look good. I got to give you your sponge bath today, you didn’t mind when I washed your face, but then you got mad at me because I wasn’t feeding you. My good friend Lisa Evans called her friend Kim to bring me food. She bought me a lot of groceries. That was very nice of her! I got 88ml of milk for you while I was at the hospital, that’s a record for me. They said that you are now healthy enough to go to the Logan hospital (tomorrow morning at 10:00 in an ambulance). I am so happy! I just hope they have someone really nice to look after you when I am not there. It’s like dad said, God was just waiting for me to have faith before he would let me go home. We are so blessed. Aunt Christy sent another package, this one had diapers and wipes. She is spoiling us! I don’t know how we could ever repay her for all that she does. It is amazing to me to see all the people that care about you, especially since they’ve never even met you. You are so special, everyone can see that. You are surely one of God’s elite, hence the reason dad wanted to name you Grace. We tell everyone it is through God’s grace you have come to us at this time, and you have surpassed every obstacle in your way. You are a fighter. When you are determined, you can do anything. Don’t ever forget that. Trust in God, he will answer your prayers, but first you must pray. I am a little nervous, this will be my first time driving home from Ogden, Grandpa gave me some directions and told me it won’t be as scary as it seems. I just need to have faith that God will keep me safe. I don’t know what I will do with the things Kim bought for me, I don’t want them to spoil while I am checking us out of the hospital. Grandma said maybe I should get one of those foam coolers…that could work. I will go buy one tonight, so I don’t forget tomorrow.
July 10th
Yesterday you got to go to the Logan hospital. You were scheduled to leave at 10:30, but we didn’t leave until 11:30. I only got lost once, and it was probably good I did because I had to go back to the hospital to get the milk they left in the fridge. After leaving the hospital the second time I didn’t have any problems. Once I got home I had a long list of things to do, most of which I haven‘t done yet. Everyone was glad to see we were back. You got a little stressed out from all the excitement, and started doing some periodic breathing. You actually stopped breathing at one point, silly girl. You were doing a lot better today, but you were very sleepy. I am very sleepy too. Your weight today is 4lbs 9oz. Things seem to be going in the right direction. Amanda Hunt and her mom and sister came to see you today. They were so thrilled to see you. You’re still the cutest baby, all the nurses say so. People just can’t get over how cute you are, and how sweet you are. The house is still a wreck, but I will work on it while I wait for you to get better. All the neighbors want to bring us food, that will make things easier on me. I don’t know how anyone can get through this kind of situation without the loving support of their friends and neighbors. I got to give you another sponge bath today, you weren’t very happy with me, but your belly button gunk came off. They wanted to give you a bottle tonight. I have heard that could be good or bad for you, what I mean is that you might not want to breastfeed. I guess we’ll just have to see what happens. On the bright side, you were able to drink 9ml on your own! I think I must be getting dehydrated, because I am supposed to be getting 3oz (every 3 hours), and I am not even getting 2oz most times. I still haven’t gone to the doctor yet, calling him is one of those things I didn’t get around to yet. I think I was supposed to go last week, sometime shortly after you were born. Then again, he was on vacation when you decided to come, that‘s life. You are so special! I miss you terribly when I have to go away, but if I stayed at the hospital all day I would not be able to take care of myself. It’s hard sometimes, but I am sure it will soon be over and you will be at home where we can do whatever we want, that will be nice. I am excited to be able to go to church this week, though, I was starting to feel very sad because I couldn't go for three weeks.
July 12th
You are doing really well. You are 4lbs 11.9oz. Last night you drank 15ml from the bottle. We tried breastfeeding again. You and I were getting really frustrated before the nurse came in and decided to help us. We were able to accomplish something once she gave me a breast shield that you could latch onto. After that we were both pretty pooped. Grandma and Grandpa Mayne came with Uncle Mike and Mitch, and Aunt Amanda. We were all sad they wouldn’t let Mitch in even though they let Rachel (who is a few months younger) in a couple days ago. We got the package from Grandma Kulick yesterday, there were a lot of really cute clothes. The doctor took out the fortifiers in your milk, so now you are back to just milk (no vitamin D, etc.). Grandma Mayne thinks that I am like her and may not be able to improve the volume of milk I am producing and will eventually have to buy formula. I hope not, even though this is really hard to do, it costs a lot less. The nurses say we are doing really well for how young you are, and dad said I just need to be patient. Neither of us are as patient as dad, you get just as frustrated as me.
July 13th
I got to go to church today, we were late and missed the first two speakers because we were visiting you and then we talked to our friend Lillian Severson. Everyone was happy to see us. I got sad though, because we were sitting by two women whose babies are only three weeks older than you. They have you eating 46ml now, and you are 4lbs 13.5oz!! We think that as soon as you are able to eat 46ml on your own they will let you come home. You did great breastfeeding today, you ate for 7min before you fell asleep. I think the nurses said you are still eating about 15ml from the bottle. We are so proud of you! We know that you will be able to do it, you are very determined. Sometimes a little too determined, you get so excited you forget to breathe. We’ll have to work on that. We had dinner with Jeremy and Jeanette. They made barbeque chicken and mashed potatoes. It was good, they sent some home with us for tomorrow. They are so nice. Everyone wants to throw us a baby shower and spoil us some more…I don’t know what to tell them. I am sure you wouldn’t mind having so many people love you. You are everyone’s favorite baby at the hospital, you know. I tell you that everyday, but it’s true. You are the most beautiful baby, and you never cry (even when you are mad at me). I know that God has something very special planned for you, because he has sent his most trusted guardian angels to watch over you. He has kept you safe from so many things, we can’t even comprehend how much he loves you. I was thinking today that I know how he feels, seeing his babies being cared for by someone else, and all he wants is to take us home. That’s how I feel. All I want is for you to come home, but I know it is for your benefit that you stay in the hospital. It seems so simple, but now I really understand. They always say the plan makes more sense when you become a parent. You really start to understand how God is feeling. He only wants the best for his children, and it hurts him so much when he sees us struggling and he can’t always take away our pain. Grandma Kulick keeps telling us to give you a blessing, so that you will be able to relax and not remember all the pain and stress you have had in your life these last few weeks. I think you would like that. I also think you would like it if I played you some church songs (like Lil suggested). I guess we’ll see what tomorrow brings.
July 15th
You are 5lbs today!! They are feeding you 49ml now, and you re doing a lot better with your periodic breathing. The nurses say there is a good chance you will come home sometime in the next two weeks. All you need to do is stay awake long enough to eat all you need. They say you got 36ml from the bottle the other day, and you breastfed for 15 minutes yesterday. You were very sleepy today, but dad thinks that the more you get used to eating the faster you will progress. They want to try eating on your own (bottle or breastfeed)every six hours.
July 17th
Yesterday you were still a little sleepy, but I think it was because you had to wait so long to eat (at least 20 minutes each time I was there). They want me to talk to a lactation specialist again today, because I was ready to give up yesterday. We got really frustrated with each other when I came to see you on my own, and tried to breastfeed. Grandma Mayne, Aunt Amanda and Melanie Capell came to see us yesterday and brought us lots of food. Grandma helped us at 10:00pm so that we wouldn’t get mad at each other again. Hopefully we can get the hang of this thing soon so you can come home! We also had some people from the ward come clean out house. It looks a lot better, the floor is so shiny! I don’t think it has been this clean in a long time. The nurse gave you another bath, this time she gelled your hair. Grandma loved it because it gave you little curls. I am not sure I like that look for you so much. But you look really good in purple. Today you were still quite sleepy. But you almost ate all 49ml from the bottle dad gave you. This time you were wearing pink. They say you are 5lb 3.2oz. It looks like there is a good chance you will be coming home next week. We are so excited!! I hope the time passes quickly.
July 19th
Today is Uncle Mitch’s birthday and he is going to Hawaii! Grandma and Aunt Amanda are going with him, since he is only 13. I haven’t talked to him lately, but I am sure he is excited, I know I would be. You have been doing really good with your eating. They say you usually get 40ml from the bottle, and you ate for 30minutes last night when I breastfed you, and I think you were still hungry. The doctor said it’s only a matter of time now before you come home, and one of the nurses said that one day you’ll get it and surprise us all and eat great every time. You are getting more vocal these days, yesterday you got a little fussy and actually cried. Great Grandma Mayne said that’s how Aunt Shell was as a baby, she never cried. I just hope you get a little more vocal when you come home so I will know when to feed you at night. I guess I could always set an alarm to make sure you get food. I will try to keep you on the schedule the doctors have you on. I can’t wait!
July 21st
Yesterday we helped the nurse give you a bath in your pink tub, you were very slippery. You like tub bathing much more than sponge bathing. We all agreed you look good in yellow. You are now one pound heavier than you were when you were born. You are gaining weight very well, and becoming more vocal. You still like to hold your breath a lot, like when you are filling up your diaper, so you still have to use an oxygen tube. You are doing very well with your eating, and it seems that you prefer breastfeeding now. You eat consistently for at least 15 minutes every time, and you are getting stronger. You like to eat really fast, and sometimes forget to swallow, but you are improving a lot. You are three weeks old today.
July 28th
In the past week you reached 6lbs, and started eating 52ml or more, and you have a big appetite. Last night your nurse took out the feeding tube, and so far you haven’t needed it. You got your eyes checked again, they haven’t completely matured yet which may cause problems later. I finally got to meet your doctors today, one of them wants to see you again in 2 weeks to get your eyes checked again, and the other wants to send you home tomorrow!! We will have to take home some oxygen and monitors, I am not sure how long you will need them. The nurses said they tried to wean you off of the extra oxygen, but so far it hasn’t worked. You are very dependant. It is very normal for them to send babies home with oxygen though, because that is the only thing keeping them in the hospital. Everyone is excited for you to come home, it has been hard having you away from me, especially since you seem so upset when I leave you. Grandma Kulick suggested that dad should give you a father’s blessing, it made me cry because it was the first time he’s ever given a blessing. In church I was missing you so much it made me cry, so my friend Caroline Murphree let me hold her baby Rebecca (who is a few weeks older than you). It made me feel better, but it just wasn’t the same as holding you.
August 2nd
Today was your 5th day home (you came home Tuesday, today is Saturday). The first day wasn’t bad, but the first night was a little hectic. We didn’t know you were cold, and so I kept feeding you when you woke up. The next day was bad because you were so bloated you didn’t want to eat. Dad got you some drops, and they seem to help a lot. You like to eat every two hours instead of every three like you were at the hospital. You’ve had two baths, you seemed to like it, but you weren’t in there too long because I didn’t want you to get too cold. It has been so hot lately. You had lots of visitors today. Uncle Neil and Aunt Shell came by on their way home. They were so excited to see you, especially Aunt Shell since we named you after her. She was a little nervous to hold you because you are so small, and her “baby” is now 27. Uncle Mitch and Grandpa came with them. My friend Olympia Brewer came by a little later and brought you a little princess outfit. You’ve had a pretty busy week, we took you to the doctor yesterday. Everything is going great. You are 6lbs 8oz now. We were a little worried though, because you are very gassy and hadn’t pooped since Tuesday morning. Luckily, Aunt Shell got you really relaxed and you let it all out, otherwise we would have had to give you something to help you (trust me, I don’t think you would have liked to have another one, you’ve already had two since you were born). Uncle Neil was excited because you gave out two “trucker burps” when Mitch was holding you. You were very comfortable with everyone taking a turn holding you. On top of that, you won’t be needing the oxygen much longer, in fact we had it off most of the day and your levels stayed pretty high. I am thinking tomorrow we will go to sacrament and show you off to the ward. A lot of them have already seen you because they brought us food. We are so blessed to have such great neighbors.
August 24th
It has been very busy since you came home. We took you off the oxygen two days after my last entry, and you have been doing great without it. You like to eat a lot. You are already over 7lbs and 21inches. I can’t believe how big you are getting. Your eyes are fully matured now, and you love to open them and look around. Your eyes are getting brighter everyday, right now they are a dark silver. You smile a lot more now, I recently discovered that you have dimples, a lot of dimples. We had a baby shower for you this week, you got a lot of stuff like blankets and clothes. You are still getting used to being around a lot of people, but you let anyone hold you. You have a favorite song now, you like the Three Stooges’ version of the ABC’s, but you like it more when I sing it. We discovered that you like bumps, you smile really big when we go over them with a shopping cart or stroller. Your favorite toy is from Aunt Kirsten, it’s a glow worm that plays music. It is still very hot, but you are doing a lot better at keeping warm so I don’t feel bad having the fan on all the time. You can hold your head up pretty well, not completely though. You are already trying to talk and crawl, and you really like to wave your arms around. Sometimes I like to think you are trying to hug me when you smack me in the face, because it seems like you are reaching for me when you do. Tomorrow you will be 8 weeks old, 2 months old on Friday! My, how time flies.
September 8th
You are 10 weeks old today. Last week you were very sick, and still have a very stuffy nose. You didn’t sleep very much and cried a lot. We gave you formula for the first time because we forgot to bring some milk for you when we went out to see Grandma and Grandpa Mayne. You did a lot better with the Similac than you did with the Emfamil we gave you a few days earlier. Mostly you were just very gassy and had a one really poopy diaper that came out the back and went all over your clothes. You slept all night last night, from 1:30am to 6:30am. It was a nice change from when you didn’t go to bed at all. We still don’t know how much you’ve grown because the doctor cancelled our appointment last week, but we have another one on Wednesday. I am afraid you may have lost weight because you are sick. You are doing much better this week, so far, you are awake a lot more and seem to be a lot happier. I might be able to get stuff done finally!!
October 4th
You are now 3 months old and a whopping 12lbs (or close to)! No one would even know you were premature! You are so smart. Still working on sitting, but you are doing great! You can roll over if someone is holding you, and you can push your head up all the way even when you're on the floor. Recently you started holding your own bottle! I still have to help, but you'll get the hang of it eventually. We had to take you to the hospital this week. You didn't like it, but you are handling things well. You like to laugh at daddy, and smile all the time! I only wish we could get on a regular schedule. Oh well, eventually you might go back to sleeping at night and staying awake during the day.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
mystery illness
monday night my baby suddenly had a terrible stomach ache which caused her stomach to become very hard. she was grunting and in terrible pain for a few hours before she was able to pass anything. finally after she did she felt a little better, but not great. and because of all her efforts, she had a fierce fever that would not go away. needless to say, we took her to the emergency room where they took out a lot of blood and did a spinal tap to see if they could find what was wrong. some of the tests came back inconclusive, and we never heard anything about the other tests. they sent us home at 4 am with instructions to give her tylenol every 4 hours and call the doctor in the morning. so we did. the doctor then told us that they still didn't know what is wrong, but maybe pneumonia or a virus or some kind of bacteria? he gave us some medicine that basically kills all the bacteria in her intestines and something like yogurt to replace them. so the fever is gone, but she has diarrhea. we can't win! despite all this, she still finds reasons to laugh and smile, can you believe it? what a sweet little girl I have! it makes it all worth while to see her smile at me.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Cindi, Rella, and the ransom kiss
Boomp3.com
featuring Erik, Deanna, Brittany, and Casey
recorded 2006
edited 2008
music from Aladdin, Weird Al, Gremlins, and one other I can't remember
featuring Erik, Deanna, Brittany, and Casey
recorded 2006
edited 2008
music from Aladdin, Weird Al, Gremlins, and one other I can't remember
bottomless pit
my baby will be 3 months old by the 30th and has already doubled in weight. yes, she did start out considerably smaller than most (4lbs 7oz) but that's quite a feat! the culprit? she loves to eat! especially if it is time for bed. on average she likes to eat 3 oz every two hours, but at times she wants to eat every half hour. I always make her wait then to see if she is really hungry or if it is just gas. I've tried giving her 4oz, but she usually leaves 1oz in the bottom. I love that she is catching up to the other kids her age, I just wish she wouldn't act like I am starving her to death. oh well, at least she is fairly predictable. and if she's not hungry she's happy. but all this eating sure gives her a lot of gas! lol.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
late nights
As expected, my baby would keep me up until 5am most nights when she first came home. Then eventually it was only a few times a week, and finally she would usually make it by 3am. By the time she was 2 months she was going to bed by 1am. Now for that she is almost 3months old she wants to stay up until 5am again. I don't know why. I wonder if it is because school just started for her dad and so the only time she sees him is nights and weekends so she wants to stay up and play with him. The only thing is, he will go to bed and she will still be wide awake. Sure, she'll doze off a little, but as soon as I put her in her crib she is wide awake again. She sleeps all day too, no matter what I do. I hope she stops doing this soon. It will make my life much easier. If only I knew better ways to keep her awake during the day, but when she keeps me up all night I don't have the energy to stay awake during the day either.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Spit up scares
About once a week Grace has these bouts of spit up that scare me to death. She spits up so much that it is coming out her nose and she can't breathe. She turns red and tries to cry, but the spit up keeps coming and blocks her airway. I hope this never happens when I am not around to help her. I don't know what causes it, but I suspect it has something to do with formula. Haven't had to do CPR yet, and hope I never will!
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